Here we are at the latter half of January with the promise of spring just around the corner. There’s something so comforting about the clean slate that January and a new calendar offers. It’s a chance to begin again, to put aside whatever disappointments we’ve had lately and work toward a bright and shiny new future.
But for many of us, January first isn’t so much a time for reflection and rebalancing as it is a chance to set incredibly high new expectations of ourselves. We look around and see others apparently reaching their goals, and think, “I need to work harder,” “I need to learn self-discipline,” and most importantly, “I need to change.” Goals are helpful and growth is wonderful, but too often I’ve found that these sorts of sudden and dramatic ambitions have only left me feeling disappointed in myself. I race into a new year, convinced that sheer willpower and determination will produce the new me I envision, only to find that there is no new me. Soon, my lofty goals have left me feeling defeated, tired, and full of self-doubt.
A friend of mine told me he wanted to work on changing his equity and focus on large hair colour corrective transformations so that he could be more active on social media. Excited for him, I asked what he was planning to work on to get started. He nonchalantly said, “I really want to create daily posts that capture the artistry of my hair colour work, looks that truly represent me and my values.”
A couple months later, I asked him how the posting was going. He sheepishly told me that he’d found that big colour corrective transformations weren’t his forte. I’ve done this myself countless times. We seem to routinely underestimate how difficult things will be, and when they don’t turn out just as we imagine, we blame ourselves. To avoid the pain of any more failure, we say, “I’m just not good at that” and move on, trying to forget about the dream we once had.
Oddly, I’ve found that most good things happen because of small, incremental changes and realistic expectations. It may seem weird to hear “be realistic” in the face of all the messages of “dream big” at this time of year, but I’ve actually found it quite liberating. You don’t need to beat yourself up when inevitable setbacks happen. You just need to readjust to the idea that it was a little harder than you realized. Then try again.
My goal (only one) that I have been practising throughout January has been one of attitude rather than a to-do list. I’ve called it, what really matters, that is why this blog has been titled Back to Basics. As 2022 builds momentum and our ability to live with Covid-19 improves, I am taking the opportunity to get back to my basics. Whatever your goals, I hope you have plenty of fun and treat yourself with kindness as you progress.
Caroline
PS I am also planning on doing more yoga…….
